Saturday, August 29, 2009

Deep Thoughts

Every so often I get inspired. I feel like I can do anything and the world is at my fingertips. I usually start working out or creating something. I think it has more to do with hormones than anything. I get this feeling of "hello world, here I am!" Today, I turned the computer on and I noticed DJ AM had died most likely of a drug overdose. Last year he survived a plain carsh. He's in his mid thirties. On his last twitter he had written something about New York being a city of dreams, but it hadn't lived up to all he had hoped. It just bums me out. A young security guard at my work died of meningococcemia a few days before that. It's an infection in the blood streem. I guess nationwide, 3,000 people get it yearly and it's fatal to about 10%. There are some obvious indicators such as fever, flu like symptoms, stiff neck, tingling in hands and toes, and a purple rash. If you catch it early, your chance of survival is good. If you treat it late (day two or so), you're outcome is poor. Death makes me reflect on life. I don't believe in fate or the excuse, "that's how it was meant to be." I think our life and the outcome is in our hands. There's always circumstance and being at the right place at the right time. And, you don't choose who you are born to or when. But, fot he most part, you reap what you sew. I guess that makes me feel impowered. I always feel sad about a life lost early. It makes me more anxious to do good with mine. Everyday I am with Monet and Isaac, I feel so lucky. I think about how awesome it will be when they are both in school and I can have some time to myself...get back into surfing, making music, art, whatever. But, then I think I want to enjoy this time while it's here. Isaac's two teeth smile. Monet insisting I call her Sleeping Beauty and I'm Fairygodmother. I think of things I want to accomplish, but I feel like what really makes me happy right now is staying close to those two.

On a different note; Nelson Mandella is an inspiration of a life well lived to me. He's not perfect, but I love that he had something he wanted to accomplish and he truely lived it.

"During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to the struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."

Nelson Manela

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