Monday, January 31, 2011

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I've been feeling an undertone of sadness lately. Mostly because I'm over worked, under appreciated, that type of thing. Last week I was so tired in the evening. I found myself crying excessively while watching American Idol. Ha ha. I feel like a single mom. I get up with the kids and put them to bed. Robby's been playing music with his friends or working or helping people out in the evenings. Part of it is that I had a bad surf session last Wednesday and ended up not even going out Friday. Instead, I watched the waves and helped take care of babies on the beach. I was exhausted at the end of the day and was wishing that for just one day Robby would get up with the kids and put them to bed like I do everyday. I ended up getting the stomach flu that night and my wish came true. Even though I didn't feel good, at least I got to sleep and be lazy. I loooove my kids, but sometimes I daydream about being on my own for a day or week. Not this week but to a magical time before my kids existed. That would be a tease. I would miss the kids too much, come back to this time and have the same feelings all over again. That's why I love surfing. Just for a moment, you are riding a wave. Flying through the air, gliding over water. No one's screaming your name, kicking you or asking you 20 questions two inches from your face.
Since I am still a little week from the flu, annoyed with being poor and trying to ignore my subconscious sadness, I went thrift store shopping..duh. Totally scored. All the clothes were half off!! I got work out clothes, three cute new tops, a dress, a hat and two new bar stool chairs that I've been searching for forever. I also found some retro floral fabric and a couple things for the kids. So fun.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

my new creation and more surf/friends

We hung out at Blackies for about an hour staring at the waves deciding if it was worth getting in since it was so small. It felt sooo good just to get wet.
Love this picture my girlfriend, Jen, took of her daughter Cassie and Isaac. They have a love/hate relationship. Isaac chases her around and Cassie squeals. It's pretty funny.
Kindra and Dominic
Steph and Elea
Ah ha!! My new creation. I've been wanting to try to make a jumper for a while. This is made from a huge men's pinstripe dress shirt and some other scraps. After the first day's attempt, it was looking pretty bad. I let it rest, then finished it today. It's not exactly what I saw in my mind, but I like it.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

stepping out


My ears perk up when I hear certain things that sound right. I was reading an article in our local paper about this 17 year old surfer girl who I believe is 3rd on the world circuit right now. Her mom has to travel to most of the locations with her because of her age. In the article her mom said something like-We've learned half the battle is just showing up. That stood out to me. I just feel it's true with a lot of things in life. Just go, get off the couch and get yourself there and see what happens. Go to the gym, put your wetsuit on, open the paint box. Can you tell I'm talking to myself??... A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with some girlfriends, anxious about returning home because I didn't want Robby to get bugged because I was out too long or stressed with the kids. The thought crossed my mind that I wished he would hang out with his guy friends more, so he could have an outlet like I did. Well, wishes do come true. Robby has been playing his keyboard with our friend James (also our neighbor) and a bunch of other guys in their garage band they've set up. James and Robby have been putting the pressure on me to come sing with them. My voice is kind of messed up and I don't know any of the guys. It's all amped and loud. They play all covers. Anyways, I brought the kids over there yesterday and was super intimidated, so I left with no desire to go back at all. Anyway, long story, I looked up guitar teachers tonight and left a message for one. So, I made an effort and stepped out of my comfort zone. I want to learn to play slide guitar... like this.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

opportunity


The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone.
-
Orison Swett Marden
(found at kind over matter)

I've been at the gym this week. It feels so good to sweat. Hopefully surfing tomorrow. The waves looked really fun and buttery smooth today.

I love the idea of life being completely your choice and your responsibility. For myself, I truly believe it is.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Happy New Year!


Happy New Year!! 2011!!
This is how I feel about the new year. So many possibilities. Wonder. Lots of waves, music, smiling squishy faces, creating, talks with friends, love, sunshine.

(both photos from Donovan frankenreiter.com)