Monday, January 31, 2011

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I've been feeling an undertone of sadness lately. Mostly because I'm over worked, under appreciated, that type of thing. Last week I was so tired in the evening. I found myself crying excessively while watching American Idol. Ha ha. I feel like a single mom. I get up with the kids and put them to bed. Robby's been playing music with his friends or working or helping people out in the evenings. Part of it is that I had a bad surf session last Wednesday and ended up not even going out Friday. Instead, I watched the waves and helped take care of babies on the beach. I was exhausted at the end of the day and was wishing that for just one day Robby would get up with the kids and put them to bed like I do everyday. I ended up getting the stomach flu that night and my wish came true. Even though I didn't feel good, at least I got to sleep and be lazy. I loooove my kids, but sometimes I daydream about being on my own for a day or week. Not this week but to a magical time before my kids existed. That would be a tease. I would miss the kids too much, come back to this time and have the same feelings all over again. That's why I love surfing. Just for a moment, you are riding a wave. Flying through the air, gliding over water. No one's screaming your name, kicking you or asking you 20 questions two inches from your face.
Since I am still a little week from the flu, annoyed with being poor and trying to ignore my subconscious sadness, I went thrift store shopping..duh. Totally scored. All the clothes were half off!! I got work out clothes, three cute new tops, a dress, a hat and two new bar stool chairs that I've been searching for forever. I also found some retro floral fabric and a couple things for the kids. So fun.

4 comments:

Kaity said...

I have felt all that you are feeling. The life of a mom... My kids won't sleep and they are sleep deprived and cranky when they're awake. Good times. I love thrift store shopping. Without the kids of course.

Mariko said...

Oh.... We are so on the same wavelength.

I definitely think you need to ask for help sometimes. Even from spouses.

Bekah said...

I hear you! This month has gotten me down, down, down. I love getting sick so I can sleep in. Except last month when I was sick for the whole month. I only got a few days off.

Love you so much. Give those kids a kiss from us.

Karen said...

Ahh, so wonderfully told and honestly. You are a good mother, Chelsea. Wish I were there to be Auntie to your M and I! The word verification is cando, I kid you not! :D